Ask 6 Cats: Kitties Answer Cats’ Questions

Ask Six Cats

by Bob Tarte’s kitties

Kitty comrades, are you having problems dealing with those people who think they own the place? Don’t ask just one fellow cat for advice. Ask the six cats that star in Bob Tarte’s book, Kitty Cornered. Let Frannie, Agnes, Moobie, Maynard, Tina, and Lucy bat around your question and chew on it a while. The cat who sinks its claws deepest into the subject will cough up an answer below.

Calling all cats! For live advice from Agnes– one cat to another — join us this Friday, June 15, 12:30-1PM on Twitter. Just Tweet your question #Ask6Cats @BobTarte (Agnes is borrowing Bob’s computer for this live Q&A session).

For even more wisdom from these six cats, you can check out the book Kitty Cornered, available at IndieBound independent bookstores, Powell’s, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.

Q: I’ve got three litter boxes in the house. I’m confused which one I’m supposed to use. – Inspector Kibble, Houston, TX

Lucy: Anytime there’s a litter box in the room where your people happen to be, use that one.

Q: Call it kitty karma. I was quite the hellion in my youth, and my people haven’t forgotten. So they’re ruling out getting me a cat friend. Lots of talk about not wanting to replace all of the wallpaper again. What would change their minds? – Lonely Tabby, Fairfax, VA

Maynard: I can answer this one in my sleep. Your people need to adopt an older cat like me. Our rambunctious days are behind us. Instead of climbing the curtains I prefer to sink into the Land of Nod with my chin on someone’s knee.

Q: Why does that person keep sitting on my computer chair? How do I chase her off so I can resume my nap? – Muffin, Perrysburg, OH

Agnes: You don’t have much cat sense, do you? Jump up onto her lap and rub against her when she tries to type. Hop down and glare at her with the high beams. Then jump up and do the rubbing thing again. Soon you’ll have her balanced on the last two inches of the seat while you get the rest of the chair.

Q: There’s a delicious potted plant in our living room, but whenever I nibble on it, the people shake a can full of marbles. I feel like Pavlov with his dog. I nibble, they rattle. It’s impossible to eat under these conditions. What should I do? – Mr. Wigglesworth, Petaluma, CA

Frannie: Run! Hide under the bed! Eek!

Q: Every night I gobble up my canned cat food treat hoping to get a second helping. No deal. How can I make them understand that one teaspoonful isn’t enough? – Snoogles, Rochester, MN

Agnes: Gobble it up? Are you out of your mind? Act desperate until they serve your treat. Sniff the dish and walk away. Don’t touch the food until hours later when the disappearance can be blamed on the dog or the baby. Soon they’ll be giving you all of the smoked salmon and Beluga caviar you can eat.

Tags: advice, Bob Tarte, cats, Kitty Cornered