Agnes, Maynard, Frannie, Tina and Moobie aren’t just five of the feline stars from Bob Tarte‘s new book Kitty Cornered – they are also advice cats on Twitter, each one taking a turn to dole out wisdom on their weekly #Ask6Cats chat. The Kitty is in. Today we share some of the Kitties’ favorite tweets from their feline fans, along with their responses. (They borrow the @BobTarte Twitter handle each week to maintain their privacy.) Enjoy, and for more Kitty wisdom, join us this Friday, July 6, 12:30pm Eastern, for Lucy’s #Ask6Cats advice session — and pick up a copy of Kitty Cornered at IndieBound independent bookstores, Powell’s, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.
Binc @BincFoundation @BobTarte Choco I have a bed my size on the floor, why do my humans think I will sleep in it?
Bob Tarte @BobTarte @BincFoundation #Ask6Cats @BobTarte Why did humans invent the leisure suit and the salad spinner? No cat sense whatsoever.
tifotter @tifotter Agnes, how did you train @BobTarte so well? Do you have any training tips? #Ask6Cats
Bob Tarte @BobTarte @tifotter #Ask6Cats @BobTarte My person is particularly weak willed and easily manipulated. Look for such a person for yourself.
Smoky Mountains @Smoky_Mountain @BobTarte #Ask6Cats Agnes, do cats understand that they are small domestic animals or do they see themselves more as bobcats or even lions?
Bob Tarte @BobTarte @Smoky_Mountain #Ask6Cats @BobTarte I dare you to come over here and say that ‘small domestic animal’ crack to my face.
tifotter @tifotter Why do you lick your paws and stick then in your ears and then lick them again? Don’t you know you’re eating ear dirt? @bobtarte #Ask6Cats
Bob Tarte @BobTarte @tifotter Taste’s like chicken! @BobTarte #Ask6cats
tifotter @tifotter Have you ever tried to sniff a duck’s beak? THEY WILL BITE AND TWIST YOUR SNOUT RIGHT OFF. @bobtarte #Ask6Cats
Bob Tarte @BobTarte @tifotter I don’t associate with any beings that lack the proper appendages to pet me with.
GBaxterCrumbley @GBaxterCrumbley What is the most scientifically accurate calculation to translate human years to cat years? @bobtarte #ask6cats
Bob Tarte @BobTarte @GBaxterCrumbley Actual time x number of tuna cans purchased per year. @BobTarte #Ask6cats
Mr. Peanut Butter @pbj06 @BobTarte Gotta send this in early: Harry in LA asks: I like Italian parsley. But is it bad for me? #ask6cats #catchat
Frannie @pbj06 A teenie-weenie sliver of parsley is okay beneath a big greasy chunk of dark meat chicken on a china saucer. #ask6cats
Cayr Ariel Wulff @yelodoggie #Ask6Cats @BobTarte My human sings to me. I hate it. I claw her in the face, but she still sings. How can I make it stop? – Mouse in Ohio
Frannie @yelodoggie Are you a real mousie? Come real close and I’ll sing a special song. You’ll never want to claw your human again.
JaneFriedman #Ask6Cats @BobTarte @JaneFriedman Zelda asks, “What is that thing up in the air that no one but me is able to see & how do I catch it?”
Frannie @JaneFriedman Leave it alone. Whatever it is, it tastes like parsley.
Cayr Ariel Wulff @yelodoggie #ask6cats @BobTarte If cats evolved from Lions & Tigers how did they get so small? I’m the same size as my wolf ancestors #dogs_rule
Bob Tarte @BobTarte @yelodoggie Is a big honking Zenith 1930s table radio better than your itsy bitsy MP3 player? #Ask6Cats @BobTarte
Cayr Ariel Wulff @yelodoggie Is it true that cats have nine lives? Just wonderin’ cuz I’ve been counting. #Ask6Cats @BobTarte #dogs_rule
Bob Tarte @BobTarte @yelodoggie Is it true that dogs have nine brain cells? That’s obviously where this question came from. #Ask6Cats @BobTarte
Kelly Meister @TheCritterLady @BobTarte #Ask6Cats Tina, my person says I’m overweight. Do you think that’s even possible? From, Junebug
Bob Tarte @BobTarte @TheCritterLady Cats require padding for activities like falling from knickknack shelves or sleeping on top of an iPod. #Ask6Cats @BobTarte
Jabberwalkie @Jabberwalkie2 @BobTarte Kitty asks…..why do I eat grass even though I’m destined to puke for hours after?
Bob Tarte @BobTarte @Jabberwalkie2 If cats had any sense of consequence, we wouldn’t have any fun in life. #Ask6Cats @BobTarte
Sarah Wallin @Sariebear What is the best way make the humans let me outside? Besides tripping them when they walk out the door? -Queso #Ask6Cats @BobTarte
Bob Tarte @BobTarte @Sariebear Tangle yourself so thoroughly in their feet that they can’t go outside without you. #Ask6Cats @BobTarte
valeskalu226 @valeskalu226 @BobTarte I am a small quiet dog; how do I handle an aggressive cat – keep being nice or be more assertive?
Bob Tarte @BobTarte @valeskalu226 It would help if you could just be a cat. #Ask6Cats @BobTarte