au·gust

adj.

1. Inspiring awe or admiration; majestic: the august presence of the monarch.
2. Venerable for reasons of age or high rank.

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All the other months are defined by placement in the line-up and characterized by things like weather. All the other months are NOUNS (well, except for “March” and “May” … riffraff).

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1. Living Forever. Or at least being heavily memorialized. In November, the Kurt Vonnegut Memorial Library will open, complete with rejection letters, his Purple Heart, and the cigarette-stained typewriter.

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2. Drink By Th’ Book. I know that we often promote cocktails here on the Algonquin Books Blog, but we’re not the only ones slightly obsessed by the finer aspects of literary culture. At 1022 South in Tacoma, WA, you can order your drinks from the handy Lit section of their bar menu. Cheers!

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3. Library Rescue. “Booksellers band together!” 18 booksellers in Charlotte, NC, teamed up to raise funds (and stock) for the struggling public library. It was really a beautiful thing: Chains like Barnes & Noble linked arms with the tiny indie shops and everyone raised money and sang. (There might have been singing, maybe, I don’t know.)

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4. Buried In Books. I love my books, I do, but this is just weird.

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5. Know Your Covers. Being able to identify great book covers is a virtue. You might have to fact check me on that one, but I’m pretty sure that’s the case. Fortunately, Sporcle.com has your back. You get 6 whole minutes to identify 24 covers. Ready, go!

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6. Spine Art. Mikey Stilkey’s “book sculptures” are a different kind of cover art. He paints on the spines of books, his characters inspired by the fictional world to be found INSIDE the books. I’d like to install one of these babies in the living room.

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7. Lit Shots. For all the strong associations between authors and alcohol, no one ever says anything about the brooding, boozy nature of readers. For those of you stalwart soldiers, pushing through heavy tomes with just a snifter of brandy to light the way, I give you The Reader’s Drinking Game. (My favorite? “J.D. Salinger: Every time there is a symbol of lost innocence, drink a highball. Then spit it all over someone you love.”)

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8. Educational Videos.

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Homework: use the word “august” at least once today.

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-Susannah

Let’s be honest. Does anyone really love July? I mean, there’s a reason “Hotter than July” is a saying. Because no one can really imagine anything hotter than July. If you’re in the West, it means 115-degree temperatures. If you’re in the East, it means soul-suffocating humidity. If you’re on fire, you’re like, “Hey, at least it isn’t July.” So, it is in these trying, seasonal times that we cling to the things we love. Ice, slushies, ice water… and, of course, books.

1. A True Paperback.

2. Required Reading. If you’re a procrastinator, like myself, it’s always best to work toward a deadline. “I will finish this paper by midnight.” “I will clean the bathroom before the fungus grows eyes.” It helps me focus. Here’s a list of 30 books to read before you’re 30, putting a deadline on self-education. (Note: If you are over 30, you may read these twice before 60, or three times before 90).

3. Write-Alikes. We all love to play the celebrity-doppelgänger game. Were my face slightly more symmetrical, I probably would look like a cross between Pee-Wee Herman and Heidi Klum, thank you. Now you can enter samples of your fiction into this search engine to find out your Celeb Write-Alike!

4. Holding Strong. The e-reader’s getting cheaper. Amazon’s projecting fewer paperback sales than e-books (here). I’m going to go hug all my books.

5. Public Broadcast. The Headline: “Tom Stoppard returns to BBC with Ford Madox Ford adaptation“. Stoppard? Ford? BBC? Three of the best things ever!

6. Repair Men (and Women). With all this e-book talk, we need to be looking out for our REAL books. Our vulnerable, droppable, tearable, singe-able, paper-based friends. Here’s a thorough guide to book repair. Love the ones you’ve got.

7. A Book-A-Day. And, if you must e-read, at least use it for good. Reading by RSS feed means that you can fill every electronic nook of your life with great literature.

8. Dating By The Book. There is no greater indication of a good mate than a good book collection. And poor taste in literature is sufficient criteria for breaking it off with an otherwise good catch. Almost makes me wish there was some sort of online dating service that started with matching book taste … Hmmm … click.

July (July, July! never seemed so strange…sing it!)

-Susannah

Ah, June. One of the great, transitional months. Spring becomes Summer. The wool coats get packed away. Everybody moves up a grade, except for the graduates, who get ready to move out. And we officially switch the central air from HEAT to COOL. Personally, I’ve been celebrating the new summer by dancing in my neighbor’s sprinklers every morning after she goes to work. Highly recommended. If that’s not your thing, this hot weather is also the perfect opportunity to hunker down in an air-conditioned bookstore and love you some books.

1. Cliché Police. For every masterful turn-of-phrase out there, there’s a tired fraud preying upon innocent readers. And how could we know better? We’re just wide-eyed book lovers, wishing to believe the best about the authors we love. That’s why we need fearless defenders like Rosecrans Baldwin watching our backs, letting us know when the simple mention of a distant, barking dog, is a red flag for unoriginality.

2. Law & Order: Book Victims Unit. Speaking of defenders of literature, cops in Boise, Idaho, have taken down a serious threat to the book community. For over a year, a 74-year-old woman was pouring condiments into Library book-drops. They finally caught her, red-handed, wielding a jar of mayonnaise with intent to dump. It’s a sick world.

3. Highbrow, Lowbrow, Allbrows. Peter Carey rails against an ever-stupider readership. Bryce Courtenay calls him a snob. Then the lady from Boise starts spraying everyone with mustard. Decide for yourself.

4. Better Addictions. The only draw for smoking cigarettes, as far as I can tell, is rolling the pack up in your shirt sleeve, like River Phoenix in Stand By Me. Now the London-based Tank has saved my street-cred with TankBooks. These little pocket novels (titles include Heart of Darkness, The Metamorphosis, and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde) are sized and packaged like packs of cigarettes. Now that’s an addiction I can get behind.

5. David v. Goliath. I understand the appeal of the iPad. It’s so slick. It’s so shiny. It’s so portable. And more and more, people are reading their books off of the iPad or other electronic faux-book devices. But in favor of convenience, what are we losing?

6. New News. I’ve plugged blackout poetry before, because it’s poetry that anyone can write … since you’re not actually WRITING anything. Genius. Uncomfortable with vandalizing a book? Just have at the newspaper.

7. Shakespearean Vernacular. One of the pitfalls of being an author, or any type of artist for that matter, might be the overwhelming feeling that you aren’t making a difference. You’re not digging wells or curing diseases. You’re hanging out inside your head all day. You’re a professional at assuming that people care about what goes on in your head all day. Wait! I have a point. But without authors, like Will Shakespeare, we’d be bereft of so many beautiful turns of phrase. Click. So go back to staring out the window, we need you.

8. The Lego Printer. I’m just going to let the video speak for itself.

June, I would say something witty about you, but you just gave me heat stroke.

-Susannah